never, never, never buy a new car. ever.

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since the day i turned 16, i have driven some real winners. 

there was the black two door nissan sentra that got me around during my high school years. it cost $500 and although it was nothing to be proud of, it got me from point A to point B and it was a two door, which meant it was sporty.

then in my college years i drove a bright blue toyota tercel. i got my first speeding ticket in her while driving back home from college, and she stranded me on the side of the road in arkansas. even though the tercel left a lot to be desired, i felt a little sadness when i found out she had hit the hay while i was living in china.

and lastly, there was the red honda civic. i bought this guy before i learned to drive stick and spent many moments sweating like crazy while trying to navigate the hillier sections of denver. when i traded him in last may, i gave the bumper a swift kick and wished him a found adieu.

so when mr. lesley and i bought a brand, spanking new car this past may, i was ecstatic.
it always turned on, the heat always worked, there wasn't a scratch to be found on the exterior, and the interior had that perfect new car smell i love so much.

but then i learned what it really means to buy a new car.

it means every single person on the road is out to get you.
they want to hit you.
and no matter what you do, they will find you.

i learned this first in august when i got rear-ended exiting off the highway.
since it was my first accident, i was just happy that it wasn't my fault and moved on.

but then about a month ago, when we were sideswiped, i started to get a little suspicious.
we must be doing something wrong.
that green seems to be attracting the wrong kind of attention.

but then this past monday, my suspicions were confirmed.

there i was, minding my own business, just driving through an alley near our apartment, when...BAM!
a woman backed out of her parking spot and slammed into the side of the car.

she got out of the car and said, "i'm so sorry. i've never been in a car accident before. i don't know what to do."
to which i aptly responded, "oh, don't worry. i know exactly what to do."

i have to say, all the years with my amazingly crappy cars and i wasn't in a single accident.
nine months in a brand new car and we've already got three under our belts.

so, whatever you do...DO NOT...and i repeat...DO NOT buy a new car.
or if you do, save yourself the time and go ahead and paint a bullseye smack dab in the middle of it.
it will make it easier for everyone.

trust me.


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