I DO ALL THE THINGS! Or how I scared my husband, the animals, and the roofers next door.

i realized a long time ago that you can't expect your husband to know what you want. 

no amount of "signals" on your part can take the place of just calmly saying "right now, i feel __________/i would really like you to do ___________/i'm upset because ___________." 

you get the idea.
hints get you...nowhere.

but sometimes what we know we should do in our heads and what we decide to do moving forward are on the complete opposite ends of the spectrum. 

i have quite a lot of experience in this area.
let me explain.

a few weeks ago, the concept of a "honey do" list came up, and nick had no idea what it was.
he had never even heard the term.
{i have no idea how this is possible either.}

well, i used that as a great opportunity to explain what it was and then make one for him! 

brilliant, i know.
he's so lucky.

this list had three items on it.

1. buy a shelf for the garage.

2. organize the garage.

3. fix the drawer in the kitchen. 

easy peasy, right? 

so this last saturday, nick checked off the first item with a quick trip to home depot.
then he came back and set it up.
it was great.
i marveled at his initiative and productivity.

then came time for step number two.
the whole organize the garage thing.
we started working together. going through boxes, condensing, throwing things out.

and then, like i usually do, i took over.
it only took a few "actually, i was thinking that should go over there" comments for him to hand over the reigns with a casual "let me know if you need anything" as he went back inside.

and that's when it all went down hill.
it was hot and i was sweating and i didn't know what to do with half of the crap and nick was inside WATCHING neflix and he was even LAUGHING {the nerve.}
i was left to suffer the fate of my bossiness, and i wanted him to know i was not happy about it {even though it was my own fault.}

so, i started slamming boxes and muttering under my breath, just sure that he would hear me and come ask if everything was ok.

as you could have guessed, my signals were not effective, and when i was finished i came inside, proceeded to give him the silent treatment, until he had no choice but to say, " is everything ok?"

and here's where it really gets good.
i looked up at him and screamed at an ungodly volume,
"I DO ALL THE THINGS!!!!!"

blank stare.

"I WAS OUTSIDE DOING YOUR JOB! AND YOU WERE HERE LAUGHING?!?!?!
YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE DISHWASHER NEEDED TO BE EMPTIED?!?!?!?!

the blank stare continued, followed by, "you're scaring me."

to which i responded {still yelling}…
"YOU SHOULD BE SCARED!"

oh lord.

i knew i was acting crazy.
i knew this was not the way to communicate.
on the plus side, i wasn't trying to drop hints, but my directness and volume were scaring everyone and everything in a 50 miles radius

i was letting out all the crazy.

he tried to make things better with a "but i told you to let me know if you needed anything" which didn't really help, although by that point i was laugh/yelling, the real indicator of being a true looney tunes.

eventually, the conversation went into completing the list vs. seeing what needs to be done and just doing it.
aka being a man vs. being a woman.

eventually i calmed down, the animals came out of hiding, nick wasn't quite so scared, and i decided to cut his manhood a little slack.

the moral of the story?
i am crazy.
nick is a man.
and maybe someday we will live happily ever after.

goodbye apartment #10.

{via}

it's amazing how your heart can feel so connected to a place. 

a location. an address. a spot on the map.

bricks and plaster and wood.

i'm sitting here crying because we are moving out of our basement apartment this week.

it's in a basement for goodness sake, a basement.

so why am i having such a hard time saying goodbye?

for the past two years, i've called this humble apartment my home and then our home. 

we've battled the sweltering heat in the summer, with floor fans and a strict no comforter rule.

when the seasons change and the heat comes through the pipes, we've grabbed tupperware and tried our best to dodge the drips.

we've watched sir winston try his best to play and prance on the hardwood floors, sliding like crazy and running for safety to the carpet as we throw his toys around the room.

our neighbor and the building super sam has become a part of our family.

he leaves us vegetables from his garden in front of our door.

we answer his computer questions.

no matter where he is in the building, we can always hear him talking.

he lets us use his cable and internet, and we pay him in bottles of wine.

he takes care of us.

and we love him.

we've made our life together here in this basement.

in 600 square feet.

we have learned how to live together.

how to fight.

how to cook in the smallest of kitchens.

how to serve each other.

how to throw spontaneous dance parties. 

how to pray together before bed and read the Bible in the stillness.

how to give the silent treatment.

how to apologize and move on.

how to be married.

how to love.

and because of that, i am sad to leave this space behind.
my heart feels connected to the hardwood floors and the tiny kitchen and the light through the blinds and our neighbors and the life we've created.

there is nothing impressive about this space, but it was ours.

just like the new place will be ours.
a place where new memories will flourish and life will take place between those walls.
of bricks and plaster and wood.

so thank you apartment #10 for helping us grow up a little.
for teaching us about life.
for being the first space for our family.
you will always have a very special place in my heart.

{p.s. we are just moving down the street, not across the country. call me dramatic. i fully accept it.}

and...i've finally arrived.

yep. it's true.

i'm a officially a real blogger.

it's my first guest post!

{insert wild applause here.}

the fabulous sarah lives in denver with her hubs and little girl, is expecting another little girl in a couple of months, has adorable style and a winning personality, and, most importantly, writes over at reverie.

i like her, so you probably should too.

without further ado, here's some of sarah's thoughts on this little thing called "marriage." 

_________________________________________________________

Hannah has just gotten married! (Duh.) 

 She's survived wedding planning, had the best day of her life, and, folks, she's even done the deed. 

Truth be told, I've been reading along the entire time ever-impressed by her mature ability to always keep things in perspective. Yes, she was planning the cutesiest wedding day; but more importantly, she was preparing for a marriage. 

 And this is where it all counts. This is where she and Mr. Lesley start building their lives together and learning how to take on the good and bad as one instead of two. 

 When I first got married, this was harder than I'd anticipated. I'd grown so accustomed to my independent life before marriage that, as excited as I was to be Mrs. Noel, I really had to work at adjusting to sharing my life wholly with another person--especially someone who thinks (still to this day!) that my OCD cleaning tactics are a bit over the top! 

 But I married a kind, generous, and patient man. I married someone who loved all of my crazy--including the parts that made the first few months of marriage a challenge. And because of that, even in the midst of the new struggles we faced, some of my life's sweetest memories to-date were from that first year of being married to my husband. From making s'mores on the gas stove and huddling under a down comforter on the couch when our heat was broken, to spontaneous weekend trips and Netflix marathons late into the night, I had my best friend always by my side.

We made a name for ourselves, Mr. and Mrs. Noel, carving out our own traditions and adventures until suddenly marriage was everything I'd imagined and hoped for.

A dog, a house, and (almost!) two babies later, still speaking from limited experience, of course, I'm so excited for you, Hannah, and these amazing few months ahead of you. Through the best and the worst, it'll all be the stuff of your marriage, an incredible foundation for all you'll be and do together.
_______________________________________________________

thanks sarah for your wise words, and, most importantly, for making me official!

everyone else, make sure to visit reverie and give sarah some love!