10.01.2013

on being content.

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that whole "wishing things were different" mentality? 
 yeah, i'm over it.

why? 
well, let me tell you...

today, a student called me "mom" by mistake. 
i talked a kid down from feeling like an utter and complete failure. 
we had a time for celebration in my advisory class, clapping and cheering because one of my boys was getting a "b" in science.
i watched a coworker cry as she received an amazing award, while telling her students how much she loves and believes in them.
kids are loving our class book (well, most of them).
i ran with coworkers after school, like we do most days. we have come so far together, and we're pretty proud of ourselves. 
i came home to mr. lesley making dinner, sir winston with a tail flapping furiously, and a neighbor who informed us that technically he is still married to a woman from Africa. (that guy has some crazy stories, and i love it). 

i guess i say all that to say that i am finding a place of contentment, and it is such a freeing feeling.
i spent so much time last year wishing things were different, better, not so difficult. 
i cried so many tears and pleaded with God to change my situation.

and what i've realized in the last month or so is that instead of changing my situation...
slowly but surely, God changed me. 

i walk into my days with a renewed sense of peace and hope like i have never felt before. 
and i am so thankful.

there is always a season. 
some are so hard you forget who you are and where you're going and why you even exist in the first place.

but, there are also seasons of peace and gratitude and the overwhelming sense that there is purpose and design in your days.

God is very gracious to me. 
i am thankful for these days when i feel content.
i pray that this feeling wouldn't leave, despite the ups and downs life will inevitably bring.

that i would cling to peace. 
that i would choose hope. 
that i would see things as they are, not wish they were different, and respond with thanksgiving.

 

4 comments:

  1. Such a big, big important lesson. I find myself learning it over and over and over again.
    Your words are beautiful, Hannah.

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  2. Yay! I'm so glad for each and every one of these things at school. Way to focus on the positive, lady. :)

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  3. This is such a wonderful and humbling read!

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