2.06.2013

the injury.

remember that time i said i was never baking again
well, after last night's happenings, i think it's time to tweak my resolution a bit.

so...it's official.

i'm never cooking again.
dramatic maybe, but i think it's what's best for everyone.

the conventional oven and i are in the midst of an all out war and i'm losing 2-0.
my morale is fading and my newly gained battle scares tell me it's right.

once again, let me set the scene for you.

last night i was cooking dinner for mr. lesley, trying really hard to be a good, domestic wife.

the directions told me to start by cooking the chicken on the stovetop in a large skillet, which i did quite easily. then i was supposed to finish cooking the chicken in the oven for 12 minutes at 400 degrees and again, no problem. so when the time was up i put on an oven mitt and pulled the chicken out of the oven and set it on the stove.

now, this is when things start to get complicated.
i needed to move the skillet, but unfortunately my brain had forgotten that it just came out of a 400 DEGREE oven and i grabbed the metal handle without thinking.
{$^&#@*$&$^!}

and this is when i started jumping up and down and screaming and sir winston ran into the kitchen to figure out what the heck i was doing and then ran away promptly when he saw me running around like a maniac. the only thing i could do at that moment was stick my hand under cold water, try not to cry, and continue drinking my wine, as i watched the blisters starting to form.
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  when mr. lesley got home, i lost it.
i cried, "i'm such a bad wife. you always cook, and the one time i was supposed to cook for you, i do this."

he assured me it was fine and did his best to comfort me as i kept my hand submerged in a mixing bowl of cold water.

i know i haven't experienced much physical pain in my life, but this was by far the most painful injury i've every had. the burning and stinging was out. of. control. 
{and no, i don't even want to think about how painful childbirth will be, ok?} 

in order to get my mind off the pain, mr. lesley insisted i still go over to my friend jenny's house to watch the bachelor with my ladies.
because really if tierra suffers hypothermia for sean then what do i really have to complain about? 

mr. lesley drove me and my bowl of water over to her house and in the process half of the water in the bowl spilled all over my sweats, causing me to get out of the car, throw all the water out, yell some expletives, and walk through her door announcing to all my friends, "i am not in a good place in life right now."

fortunately, they were very sweet and understanding, gave me dry clothes, fed me amazing food, and helped me to step back from my self imposed ledge.

however, from 6:30 at the time of "the injury" to the wee hours of this morning, i had to keep my hand in that same bowl of water if i wanted any relief, and needless to say, i didn't sleep well and knew that it was best for everyone for me to stay home from work and nurse my wounds.

so now, i'm gauzed up and feeling much better. 
the pain has gone away for the most part and my blisters are really making a name for themselves.
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and even though life is looking up around these parts.
i have staked my claim.

don't put me in a kitchen and expect anything good to come of it.

you've been officially warned.
______________________________________________________________________

p.s. please tell me you've seen this episode of the office where michael's love of the smell of bacon in the early morning causes him to burn his foot on his foreman grill.

just in case you need a refresher...

just call me michael scott and bring me some bubble wrap already.

6 comments:

  1. lololololol laughing not at the expense of your pain but....well you know....just re-created the scene in my own head. Michael Scott at the end did not help either lolol. One of my fav. episodes to date. God I miss him.

    So sorry Hanbone!!!! That is the WORST...you are a warrior domestic goddess, even if you don't have the meals to show for it. xoxoxo

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  2. Oh no! That's so sad it hurts my heart for you. But I want you to know that I've totally been there and also I'm a horrible cook and Cole comes home after 10-12hr workdays and still makes dinner for us.
    But I rule at laundry.
    I've learned not to make yourself feel bad for that which you aren't strongest at. That's what your partner is for. To balance you with their strengths.
    All we can do is try.
    And order pizza.

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  3. ohhhh hannah-that is such a nasty burn- pole sana.
    When your hand is recovered you will beat that damn oven.

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  4. I think you should get a butler. Also, I'm glad Nick insisted and I'm glad you still came over. And when the time is right, you'll try again and you will dominate your kitchen. I can feel it.

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  5. This is not pity $#*%. This is real life, people.

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  6. I am the worst at touching things that have been in the oven with my bare hand, but this looks so insanely painful! You poor thing!

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