on blogging.

{via}

i've been trying to wrap my mind around this little thing called "blogging" for the last few weeks now.

i find myself constantly wondering why for the last four years or so, i've felt the need to record my thoughts, life happens, and random observations on this little space and then post them for the world to see.

something that once felt very small and silly, a means to record my day to day life so i wouldn't forget, has now morphed into something that feels very closely tied to who i am.
and sometimes that feels right and good and exciting.
while at other times it feels like a relentless cry of "look at me!" and "validate me!" and "make me feel good about myself!"

the latter is what's getting me lately.

it all lies in my motivation, and as much as i wish all my motives were simple and pure, it is so ridiculously easy to be caught in the rat race of recognition.
and it is such a tiring race.

so now that a new year is upon us, i have to get down to the nitty gritty of it all and examine my own heart and determine what place this blogging space, .heart to heart., will have in my life in the years to come.

is it truly a place to just record the everyday moments?
is it a place to focus on all that is good and right in my world?

or 

am i coming to a place where it needs to be more than just the good stuff?
do i need to be more reflective and honest and deep, even when it's uncomfortable and may not make everyone happy?

 and who am i even writing for anyway?
myself?
my readers?
my friends?
my family?
the future family i hope to have that may someday, if i'm lucky, care enough to read my words?

and where does God and my faith fit into everything?
if all i do should be for Him, can i honestly say that some of my motives do just that?

unfortunately, i don't have all the answers to these questions.
but there are a couple of things i do know for sure...

-i love to write. i don't use capital letters and sometimes my observations are brief and sometimes i overuse ellipses, but i do know that something inside of me feels alive when i sit at my computer and just say it. whatever it is.

-i want to be more honest. i want to push myself into realms that are uncomfortable and scary. i don't want to be ashamed of the good or the bad that fill my days.

-i have to get over the beast that comes in the form of accolades and "likes" and comments and the beast that comes in the lack of accolades and "likes" and comments.
basically, i need God to help me get over myself and to remind me every single moment of every single  day belongs to Him anyway.

so i guess i say all that to say, i'm going to be a lot more intentional about what i write on this space,

honoring God through the good, the bad, and the ugly and trying to let myself go in the process.

wish me luck.

mark your calendars.

this is pretty much going to be the best time ever.

we can't wait to see you there! 

denver bloggers unite!

this past sunday afternoon i met sarah who writes over at reverie (and a myriad of other spots) for some coffee and a power waffle (it was SO good) at city o' city in denver.

the weather was incredible (sun shining, blue skies, slight breeze) and our little date was equally as great.

we found out one of her best friends from college is from my hometown (and i actually grew up going to church with her), we both grew up in an assemblies of God churches, our youth groups were both pretty intense (yes, we both destroyed our "secular" music growing up), we're both from the midwest, and most importantly, we both love blogs.

(yep, we're pretty much the same person:)

so, we decided it was high time to have a denver bloggers meet up!

so, if you...

1. live in denver (or somewhere close)

2. have a blog

and

3. want to hang out with some pretty cool girlies

then...

comment, email, send a smoke signal, whatever, and we will get our little shindig on our calendars.

i, for one, think it will be fabulous!

for the love of the blog.

yesterday, kari and lindsey came over for a little blogging 101.

i am by no means an expert, but i do find myself getting really excited about formats, editing, writing, etc. and kinda love talking blogs.

before we hung out, i started thinking about why i love blogging so much.

why it's a hobby that has somehow stuck with me over the past three years or so...

why i feel so good when someone says they enjoy reading or have been inspired to start a blog of their own...

why i look forward to reading my favorite blogs every morning...

why i think about my days in terms of blog updates...

and i guess writing a blog reminds me that life is precious.

meant to be shared.

meant to be remembered.

and there is such value in knowing that we are not alone.

this post and this post remind me of the impact of sharing pain.

and how powerful it is.

how freeing it is to know that especially in our sadness, there are so many who have walked the same roads as those we find ourselves on.

so even though this is just a little blog...

and i'm not famous...

and i don't have 14,000 followers like some amazing ladies out there.

i blog to remember, to cherish, to soak it all in, the good and the bad.

to feel the wonder, the magic, and the depth of this crazy thing called life.

i like guest post now. no bigs.

now i just need some sponsors and maybe an etsy shop, and i'll have definitely arrived in the blogosphere:) 

check out my guest post over at welcome to the laundromat.

and have a happy friday while you're at it.

i'd rather be blogging.

there's nothing better than hanging out on the porch on the last friday of the school year...

drinking sunshine wheat...

and talkin' blogs.

kari and allison, 

blogs can and will change the world.

never forget that.